


Trust Me

by DarkWaterFalls



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Heartbreak, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-03-10
Packaged: 2017-12-04 21:56:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkWaterFalls/pseuds/DarkWaterFalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Companion piece to Melonbutterfly's first chapter, Forget-Me-Not, of Alternate Ends. </p><p>We follow Loki through the new turn of the Wheel, as he sits in his cell in Asgard and reflects on his actions in the last loop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trust Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [melonbutterfly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/melonbutterfly/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Alternate Ends](https://archiveofourown.org/works/714139) by [melonbutterfly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/melonbutterfly/pseuds/melonbutterfly). 



> Unbeta'd, and I haven't written properly in years. I'm sorry! (for many things, but especially this.)

As Loki awaits his sentence in a bright cell, he decides to leave a message to Thor. On balance he thinks that it is a good plan as, upon his death, they might loop back. If they do, the message will remain unread, not spilling his heartbreak to the entire court and ultimately giving him another chance to win Tony again. He prays for another turn of the Wheel. No matter how many cycles it takes, he will win him again. And that time? That time he won't capitulate, at Tony's urgings, to the All-Father's decree and leave Tony mortal. He will steal an apple, damn the trials, and will beg upon bended knee with Tony to eat it and promise to never leave him again.

If the fates decided that he does die his full and proper death this time, his final message will just be considered ramblings from another mad god; one broken and deserving of his sentence. But he won't care. He'll be waiting for Tony to die, Hela will help him and he will find him and fight for his soul. Tony would pass through the gates earlier than the span of years that they were together, he won't deny that the last few years of Tony's life were only prolonged because Loki made it so, because he refused to let go until Tony weakly pleaded with him to do so.

So he takes a deep breath and starts to methodically, clinically set his memories down in crystal. Start with the method of his imprisonment, his actions being controlled and the cage built within his own mind. The Wheel and how it turned the first few times. His death, sentence after sentence, over and over again, in front of the high throne and the court before the cold memory of his exile. Coupled with knowing Tony a little more with each turn of the wheel. 

He almost breaks off the process the first time he mentions Tony. How, once he'd figured out the loop, he'd seek Loki out and approach him with greater and greater determination each time. He pours in, with renewed vigour, his admiration for his strength, his support, his love. How, despite everything that had happened, Tony had built a home for him. A home with the Avengers team, with Thor slowly becoming his brother again, each memory added to the crystal stacking up to create a foundation that Loki had built his life upon. His life, their family - adoption done properly, Tony had promised. 

His memories as Tony grew older jar a bit more, as Tony’s joints stiffened and Loki asked the questions about prolonging their life together. The clear image of Tony's calm acceptance as he railed against the All-Father's decision. The twilight years of Tony's life, enjoying what was left of their life together, Tony relying more and more on Loki's magic to keep his heart beating. Until he chooses the day and time of his passing, when and where they will be together when Loki removes the struts holding his body in one piece. That beautiful evening in Malibu, at sunset, where Tony promises to find him again and love him again. As he says he always will do.

The cycle starts again, much to Loki's frustration. He's suppressed beneath the mind control again, but it cannot fight against the outpouring of grief when Tony doesn't come to meet him - to save him. He moves onwards methodically, as a puppet attached to his strings, shying away mentally as he kills again and again. He knows what is coming, doesn't want to face it, and would do anything to avoid it. When he's knocked onto his back from repulsor blasts, the pain comes as a sharp relief. He looks up to see the armour, the old armour that took it's pride of place in Tony's workshop as he grew older and his suits grew more sophisticated, and raises his hands in surrender. He couldn't take any more, the shock of the past being enough and the control on his mind knows it. He's breathing through gritted teeth and the pain is clear on his face, heartbreak doubling as the faceplate raises and only confusion is evident on Tony's face. The control flexes and his face smoothes over, he is still screaming inside but he just wants it all to be over.

It soon is. He lies in the crater of his own creation just as before, the jerking, painful exertions of the Hulk having knocked him into his own mind again. He sits up and hears a short, familiar laugh and his stomach knots. Tony’s laugh dies quickly as Loki meets his eyes and Loki doesn’t bother hiding the raw emotion on his face. Tony turns away again and Loki is left with his perplexed brother and a view of the back of the head of the man for whom he would sacrifice the moons and stars of all nine realms, if only he asked.

Loki seals that last memory in and adds a last comment – in as wry a tone as he can manage – that Thor can believe his far-fetched tale or not, it doesn’t really matter after everything that had transpired for him. But he would hope that Thor believes that there is enough good within him for him to be redeemed. He holds the crystal, glowing faintly blue, in hands pressed close to his chest and becomes aware of how heavily he is breathing; truthfully, he is gasping for air as tears flow freely down his face. He wipes them away as best he can as he brushes the crystal with a last simple swipe of magic, little more than like putting an address on an envelope. It won’t stop anyone else opening it, but any more is beyond him at the moment.

He slips it into Thor’s hand as he walks to his death, a sleight of hand he’d always been capable of. His brother casts him a puzzled glance and Loki just gives an imperceptible shake of his head. He’s given all he can to the brother he has learned to love again over the intervening years. Thor will just have to guess at what has been hinted within the crystal and decide what to do with it. Loki trusts him to do at least that. He turns away, towards his execution, towards his hope of seeing Tony again - if only for a second – and prays for the strength to continue.


End file.
